Randomtogo's Blog

2012…

randomtogo — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:13:36 +0000

So bye bye 2011, you were an alright year. Life revolved mostly around work and not mush of anything else. I did manage though to go to Italy once more and went to Vienna on a business trip. So that was good. Otherwise, my non existing love life continued to exist and 2011 ended by me being alone for yet another year. It’s quite sad actually how much alone I am and I kinda see why as you get older it’s harder to find someone… dammit. It’s really sad, but, hey, we make our choices and i can’t blame others for the state that I am in.

But 2012 is here, and me thinks it’s time for some changes. So what did I do? I bought finally a new laptop. Yes, i know I am so fancy… lol! And started the year with a trip to Thessaloniki, and spent the lovely day at Starbucks. And now, well, time to kick 2012′s butt if you ask me. Must be more disciplined though, i waste so much time and indulge my laziness… yes I realize that that’s most people, that’s why I got to brake the habit and concentrate! I’ve wasted enough years as it is… Shit, i can’t go back on that road again, thinking why I wasted my late twenties being stuck… so just look forward.

It will be fine. This is gonna be my year!

Time for a new computer…

randomtogo — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:10:41 +0000

It’s about time a got me a laptop, I feel like i am in the last century with my current desktop. A new beggining…

Last night I got really drunk at the company party…lol… I really should not care about it, how I looked or what people thought, but a part of me does. From what I remember I had fun, so what else matters? Right? It’s should be all about me and my life, I don’t give a fuck about others and their narrow minds. Shit, who the hell knows what will happen in this upcoming period of time, changes are a happening. I feel like they will affect me and that I will be offered another position. But today I had a drunken dream where I was offered the position…it was weird. Usually they say that in dreams opposite things happen, so does that mean that I am not gonna be getting that position? Is this all in my head? I don’t know. I should think less and do more. Case in point, I got this translatiuon to do, and I am way behind and the deadline is approaching, like really fast. Shit. I need to organize well my days this week. Just focus and be disciplened. I should be able to make it if I stay on course. Well, not time to think too much, whatever happens happens, I really can’t worry that much anymore. I am sick of it. I am sick of stress and worries at this job I have now, I am sick of the fact that i have not had a boyfriend in like what seems as a lifetime and I think people at work are starting to think I am gay…that is the thing, if you are single and in your thirties you are gay. So stupid…even if i was gay, I think it would be even harder to find someone…shit I am doomed regardless if I like men or women…

…

randomtogo — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 19:54:47 +0000

I am lazy and and all talk but no action! I am also very hard on my self. I lack in discipline. I am good in theory but suck in practice. Dammit! What happend?

the truth…

randomtogo — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 10:57:15 +0000

I feel like i have lost the past 7 years of my life. Not doing anything, staying home, not going after my dream. being angry, bitter and full of I wish and if only’s. So dissapointed that i waisted those 7 years. You know how they say that you more regrett the things that you did not do than those you did and how you wished you have started before… i am in a middle of this thing where i seriously do not care about my job anymore. Like this time going back after my vacation was just hard. I did not care for the job, i did not care for the people… if nothing else i always wanted to see at least the people…it’s definetly time for changes. And i hate it how i’ve become lazy…it’s hard and you got to work and move your ass…move my ass…shit. I was angry with my … but now i am just angry with myself. So stupid, thinking i was smart and doing the right thing…arghhhh… i don’t wanna go to work…i want to quit…but i can’t, got no other job options and i need the money. You know, i have nothing saved, no savings at all! is that sad or what…

So, it’s time…

randomtogo — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 18:09:08 +0000

Yes, it’s time. There I said it. No more moping around, thinking about missed opportunities, shoulda, woulda and coulddas…no more. I am tired of playing the victim. So, what do I want to do in life…hmmm, let’s think…. Be better, bolder, wiser…lol… sigh… ok, seriously, i got nothing specific, but i promise by, say, getting up on time for work. There, that’s easy to do. And it’s a start. So less sleep, or enough sleep and discipline. Yup, I can do that. And no more taxi’s to work, unless it’s an emergency. There. That will be my start. But that’s on Monday, I need something for tomorrow, and that’s Sunday…hmmm….what to do on Sunday… make a study plan. No make a “Get that diploma, finally” plan. Yup, I like it. It shall be done. DONE I said.

Later.

the time is now…

randomtogo — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 13:46:39 +0000

Ok, so I don’t know how to start this new phase in my life, cuz it’s definetly time to do something about it. I just been feeling empty and frustrated lately and I can’t shake it off. There are some changes at work coming up and I think I am feeling a bit insecure and threatened about that…honesty I don’t know why. I am who I am and I do bring something to the table. Who says that I need to be what others expect me to be. I mean can I be better, yes, of courde. Can’t we all be better. Do I feel that I met my expectations or other peoples expectations of me? I don’t know. Is it something that I should be burdened with… I don’t know.

Anyway, the fact remains, that I am not where I wanna be and it’s a fact that I am not doing anything to move or change something about it. Dammit. I am great in theory but I suck in practise. I lack discipline. Yes, it’s a fact.

So, I’ve been on this road before and let’s see if I do better this time. I should be wiser as I am older now…. yes, I know I have trouble believing that myself… shit!

it’s here…

randomtogo — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:10:17 +0000

well i’ll be 33 tomorrow…you I am officially very very far away from where I thought I’d be when I am 33. Damn…

anyway, I want to spend my last two hours of 32 relaxed and not thinking about work and just be… it’s hard, but, I’ll think about it tomorrow. Yes, I know but not tonight. I can’t be like certain people and be all work work work… hell, they don’t pay me enough.

Anyways, I am ready for some fun… let’s see if 33 is gonna be double luck for me

…help…

randomtogo — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 23:13:50 +0000

Why, why why, I don’t know, but I get so depressed and down so easely and I am so critical with myself. Why I get so frustrated, I don’t know. Why I set the bar so high, I don’t know. And yet, my main dream and wish and hope remains unfullfilled.

I can’t go on like this. It’s not hard to admit that I am not happy at the moment. Shit, shit shit. That’s all I can say. Why did I let myself become this person I don’t know. This unhappy, miserable, easely depressed person.

December 05, 2010

randomtogo — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:55:44 +0000

Yes, continuing with my December 2010. Was at concert last night… i really like concerts… should attend them more often. Had a few beers, all around an ok night. Paid for another month of gym. Check! Now, two more things I want to do in December. Finally get my first tattoo and do some more shopping for myself… oh and go out and get drunk! lol, hahaha. Yes, I am putting it on the list. It’s much more complicated than you think. Cuz, a. It’s not like I randomly go out and get drunk and b. I don’t like to get drunk with just about anyone around me. I got a rep to protect, lol!

To tell you the truth though, I do miss going out with some friends I have not seen in years. With them I can be myself and not care at all… about my rep, lol.

Anyway, that’s my status report about my December… got to keep it cool and positive and figure out what I want in 2011. It’s time to figure it out, because I cannot go on like this, miserable…

Peace out

December is here…

randomtogo — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 20:55:14 +0000

December is almost here again. Time to do another series of my December… I must do something nice for myself this month. Or better, I should do lots of nice things for myself. Got to try to find some happiness somewhere. I saw some old pictures from myself, and dude, I was looking better and happier… I was trying to remember what was different then, first thing that came to my mind, I was working out, had a good paying job, had some kind of a love life. So, here’s the decision I have made, start going to the gym again. Can’t do much about the better pay, and really not sure what can I do for the love life part so l’ll start with the gym. Good plan, don’t ya think?

Yeah, I know, i’m a constant work in progress, but really… must start treating myself with little things that make me happy. Can’t think anymore about money, and responsibility and family. I come first this month! Good luck!